Depression Quest

(Warning, depressive post.)

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“You wish you could tell them what you are feeling. That sometimes it feels like you’re lost in the woods, and that if you were to drop dead in your apartment the world wouldn’t notice. You want to make her understand that more often than not, you feel like an alien, like there isn’t anywhere in this world that feels like a place where you belong, and you have no idea how to fix it or what to do. You wish you could find the words so they would understand you, but you end up feeling like an outsider instead.” -(A little text from the game, that really got my head spinning.)

So this is a “game” (more of a deep story with choices) that I stumbled upon when I was looking over some news sites about games and thought to be a real mindfuck.

I didn’t know how right I was, this game have left me like a pile of mush, unable to wanna do anything, and just go to sleep my life away. I can’t wrap my head around all the feelings and reactions I got, reading this. The feelings portrayed in this game were spot on, and the music was perfect for it as well as the hint of daily noise in the background as the story passed on.
The thoughts are still spinning in my head as I type this, the feeling just won’t die down, the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness.

The illness that is depression is nothing to joke about, and for those who live their lives like this, my heart goes out to you. A few pages into this thing, got me crying so hard even though I never saw myself as that depressed at all. All the words hit home and I couldn’t for the life of me believe that one could feel so hopeless. So unable to wanna live. The hopelessness filled me as the words kept going, the story getting deeper and I clicked the choice that I saw fit for me, but the spiral went tumbling down on me until the end, the terrible end. There were no way out again…

This game should be played by anyone and everyone, it feels like it shows such a window into the shoes of depression itself…
– http://www.depressionquest.com/

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2 responses to “Depression Quest

  1. I’ve read this post a few times since you posted it.
    I’m sorry to say that it’s a subject that is close to me. Your oneness about it and your emotions in it speaks to me.

    Each time I read it I realize how strong you must’ve been to play it in the first place, not to say the bravery you show by showing your thoughts and emotions so openly after playing it.

    I’ve been afraid of playing it ever since I first read the post, afraid it would drag me down again. A fear I unfortunate was right to have.

    In an attempt to make your post and the game justice I decided to try it out. A decision that left me in a state much like the one you describe in your post.

    The game came way to close to my heart, made my past come flying straight into my face. Something I should’ve known it would do after reading your post.

    So here’s my hat off for you, you’ve written a very open and spot on post about the game, you portrait the emotions in it how it made you feel very well, you show strength and bravery for playing and posting about it the way you did.

    Thank you for bringing this game and depression in general into attention and thank you for being able to be so open about your thoughts and feelings the game brought you.

    Like

  2. Hi,
    Right of the bat, I’ll just point out that reading that through was probably the hardest thing I have to read in a very long time. It literally felt something just ripped heart out of my chest and stabbed it until it stopped beating right in front of my own very eyes, while I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

    That being said…

    I…I do relate to you on several levels, if not all of them regarding depression. Let it be the silent emptiness, the cold hopelessness or the agonizing loneliness. I’ve been there myself, several times and it’s always worse than the last time you were there.

    For me, personally there wasn’t anyone I could turn to when I needed someone the very most, I had to crawl out of it on my own. But I have succeeded, so I know it’s possible. Not something I would wish anyone to go through, though.

    …Though far apart, united by heart.

    Like

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